I've been honest from the beginning of all this. At one point my honesty hurt my Grandmother and that's my only regret. I would never want to hurt her. Other than that, it's all been up front. So here's a little bit of harsh reality for me:
- God is gracious and gives me joy, moment by moment, on a daily basis.
- I'm incredibly sick of... well, being sick.
- I was overwhelmed by the outpouring of love shown last week at the fundraiser.
- There are times where I'm not sure how much longer I can/will do chemo.
- If I could quit my job, I would.
Have I mentioned that I love my wife? I do. And I'd say, "I do," a million more times. She is too good for me.
1 comment:
Here's the deal - you can only do what you can do, and can only be who you are. No one can or should expect you to be superhuman - underoos or not. You are entitled to the mood swings - swing away.
Those moments of joy you have with your wife will remain precious throughout eternity to both of you. It is right that you cherish those, and it is also perfectly acceptable to be human, to rail at the beauty of the world because of knowing the dark days coming. And also because of those things that keep "coming up", figuratively and literally. We just can't be in the zen zone all the time, we are mere humans. Life is in the little tiny details.
One foot in front of the other, moment by moment, breath by breath. That's all you can do. Along the way there will be tremendous highs and depths of despair. But you know you still have those glimmers of awesome to look forward too. Hang in there, hang tough, hang out, hang together, .... forgot the point.
Oh well.
You need a blender, make milkshakes at home!
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