Thursday, August 04, 2011

There Are Lyrics From A Song Somewhere

     The build-up to Relay for Life was grueling. More-so, I think, than Kristin and I expected. We did not raise on tenth of the amount we sought to glean from the pockets of "Relayers" but did  raise an almost repectful $170 or so to add to our pre-Relay for Life total. With a goal, which we raised a couple different times during the "build-up", was $1,500 and we ended by surpassing our goal with a total intake of $1,841. I hope Kristin's as proud of herself, her victory and her team as I am of her.
     One of the things we did to raise funds for Relay for Life was to raffle off an autographed, limited edition, BCS Football. Though the ticket purchases were low, we did sell enough to add quite a bit to the pool. The football was won by Michael Ober who, much to the chagrin of many a raffle player,
Michael and his "ever pregnant" wife Kai rejoice in receiving
the first of, at least two, coming bundles of joy.
     As rewarding and "summer camp heart-warming" an experience as Relay for Life can be, and is, each year... it is good to have it over. It took Kristin, who spent more than 24 hours on the track site, two days or more to recover and I, well... I am, to a degree, still recovering. My parents were here for a week and a half. Planned, mostly, as a "final visit" for us. The great part being that they were able to participate in the "Survivor Lap" with me. The "not so great part" being that my parents, whether they like it or not, are actually getting up there in years and I think the experience was a little much for them.
My "family" from left to right:  my friend and brother Tim, myself (I'll explain the eye-patch later),
my beautiful wife Kristin, the guy where I get my sentimental side from - my father Ray,
and last for this picture but not for my family, the lady I can my occasional bad attitude from - my ever-lovin'  mom Jan.
Later, the Sunday following the Saturday, after Relay for Life,
my parents fall asleep exhausted on the couch, with Kristin and Belle
on the other couch and me alone on my "little" hospital bed in the corner of the living room.

     They returned home, starting with a ride to PDX from my in-laws, on Wednesday. I really wanted to give them the ride to the airport. But we found out, when picking them up, that my body just won't handle the trips any more. Not even as far as Portland.
     The truth about the question I get asked so often, "How ya feeling today?" is that I feel great! I really do. In the grand scheme of things I feel like I could go into a gym and punch a bag or or swim laps for hours. The sour center of this sweet tootsie pop is the pain. All that I've said is true, except for the pain. The full and horrible ache in my colon, the burn in my liver, even the random crochet needles that feel like they're going through my knees and brain... it's all so unbearable. While I feel like taking on the world... I can hardly make it in and out of the shower. Sometimes I don't.
     But the point of this little friendly one-way conversation was to thank you all, once again, for your help and support during the last campaign. Thank you for your donations that helped our Relay for Life team be a huge success. 

     Our rent, for this month at least, is paid. Most of our bills, for this month at least, are paid. It's sad to be hoping I die before the end of the month so that Kristin can get the small amount of life insurance we have coming (hopefully) and pay rent ahead for a few months until God's next miracle. No idea what He has planned. God, however, seems to keep coming through. He even provided a way for me to say one last, "Goodbye," to my parents.
     The weird thing is that I suddenly have an urge to talk to people more about the joy inside of me and how it got there. The unbelievable thing is that as I expect and almost hope for death... I feel like there's more purpose for my life now than ever. I just don't know what that purpose is or should be. I just, as usual, don't know...
     God bless. I'm out of here, for now.

1 comment:

Mike said...

I just wanted to let you know we're still out here listening. You matter to people you have never met. Thank you for sharing your experiences with us.