Thursday, June 10, 2010

My Wife Is My BEST Medicine

It's been a rough day. A rough few days really. I managed to cry while watching Eddie Izzard. Not "tears of joy" either. Just plain tears.

There are those days. I have them. But I think all the days in a row are a result of my recent delve back into the world of getting poisons pumped into my body, with the goal of fighting the cancer. Which fell very shortly after my delve into the world of no longer getting poisons pumped into my body, with the goal of fighting the cancer. (I wonder how many of you had to re-read those two lines because you thought you had already somehow read each twice. I also wonder how many of you just had to re-read that last sentence.)

See, and I only realized this tonight after bouncing thoughts and stuff off my beautiful wife's psyche, I felt that I didn't really get to make my own decision. I still feel that way. It's not that anyone forced me into a choice or denied me one. It's just that, based on the test results we received after the original decision, I really didn't have a choice. It would feel like a very foolish decision to not choose something that had a pretty good chance of extending the time I have left with my wife, parents and, yes, Belle. It's also a little embarrassing to make such a hard decision, meet with close family and friends to tell them about your decision, and then "flip-flop" just a few days later. The experience is a lot to put everyone through.

Hopefully this realization will mean brighter days ahead for me. Heck, I'd settle for days that were just lit by an old lava-lamp.

Please don't forget about the comedy fund-raiser this Friday. Even if you've got no money... come to the show! It's a very sliding-scale. Which means, while the suggested admission is $5 to $1,000,000, you can get in for just a buck. Just a buck for professional comedy! (By professional, I'm excluding Tim and myself.) So... and I'm stealing this line, obviously, Tell your friends! Tell your enemies! Either way we make money! But most of all I'd just love to have a full house.

1 comment:

Ronnie said...

Aaron, If there's anything that I've learned about cancer is this: flip-flopping over decisions made is part and parcel. We are fighting cancer the best way we know how, and it's not the best way. Changes in treatment are a daily thing. What works for some people doesn't work for others. What we think we're doing right today may not be the right thing tomorrow and what we thought was wrong is suddenly right. Don't beat yourself up about it. Love to you and your wife.