Saturday, May 29, 2010

Goodbye, Farewell and Amen

I keep trying to write and re-write this. I keep trying to find a way to make this whole thing make sense. I keep wanting to not feel like I've failed. To feel like, somehow, I've won. But no matter how I word it, I can't find the right words.

Tuesday, when I go to see my oncologist, I plan to stop my cancer treatment. 

Suffice to say, the side-effects and pains are overwhelming. I've never claimed to be a strong man or a fighter. But I've fought this thing as long as I can. Unless the doctor has something new to talk to me about, it's over.

Thank you all for the support and love you've shown us. I still plan to be around for a while. I'm not "punching my ticket" just yet.

We're still trying to pay bills and stay afloat. So, if you're looking to help, there are two big events coming up:

There's a pizza fundraiser at Papa's Pizza on Coburg Road this Wednesday! If you bring in the flier below and order at the counter, one half of the money you spend on food will go to the Aaron M. Jamison Pre-Memorial Foundation.

Click on the flier to download.

Also, a week from this Friday on June 11th there is a wonderful comedy event. Tickets are available at the door on a sliding ($5-$1,000,000) scale. Or you can pre-order tickets by clicking here and receive preferred seating, a special one-time-only t-shirt (design will NOT be revealed before-hand) and a bracelet. The flier for this event is below. (All proceeds also go to the Aaron M. Jamison Pre-Memorial Foundation.)

Click on the flier to download.

I know that many of you have things you feel you must say to me right now. Please take some time and think about what you have to say and whether it's more important to and for you or for me. Think about it. Let me answer a few questions, statements and arguments ahead of time:

  • I am aware that Jesus / God / Our Higher Power have the ability to heal me. I am aware that many feel if I "just had enough faith" that would happen. But it is possible to have complete faith in God and still be sick. In fact, it is possible that me being sick is a part of God's plan. Whether you agree with that or not is unimportant to me. It's what I'm living with and I don't have the time, literally, to argue with you.

  • There are many "cures for cancer" out there floating around the Internet. All asparagus diets, baking-soda, various teas are all absolute cures. All these cures include the fact, in their info, that the doctors don't want us to know about them because they want our money. If the cures really worked, the doctors would just charge us thousands of dollars for asparagus, baking-soda or various teas.

  • I shouldn't "give up" because you're Mom / Dad / Cousin's Friend / Etc. fought it for years before she / he died. I could have those years. I appreciate your enthusiasm. But I really am just tired of fighting and there's no argument for that. Really, too, I'm not "giving up" as much as I am choosing to make sure I enjoy the time I have left.

  • Yes, you may have a hug.

  • No, you may not touch my butt. Really.

Anyway, I hope to see you at one or both of the events coming up. I hope you know how much your support, just you're reading this, means to me. I hope that, if there is something important you wanted to say to me, you'll make sure to say it. Even if it sucks. And, finally (for now), if you just want to spend some time with me and don't know what to say... that's OK too. 

Oh, and here's a mini-version of my old album.
The "player", on the right-hand side-bar of the screen,
will allow you to preview each song.
I don't make much money off of it. But I'd love you to have it.


Edna said...

I hope your pain stops and your decision is the best for you. QUALITY of life not QUANTITY. It is your life/fight/choice, those who disagree have never had to make the choice. May the Lord bless you in your message and keep you strong.

Banana Queen said...

God is with you. Always.

Anonymous said...

I'm so glad I knew you Aaron..thanks for sharing your life..

bk said...

Say Hi to Jimmy Smith for me dude- Hes like a deity to me. :D

Best of Luck in your post-mortem adventures.

Dree said...

I don't know you personally, I started following your journey after you were on KGO radio (in SF). I just wanted you to know that you have made a difference in my life. I know it sounds weird, I am a stranger, but you have. My wife is a 3-time breast cancer survivor and as you know, cancer can lead people to a very dark place. You have reminded me to choose joy and yet be real in a crappy situation. Thank you. I wish you all the happiness you can possibly have and more love than you think you deserve. I wish the same for your wife and family.


smadronia said...

I don't think you're giving up, I think you're prioritizing. Good for you, may you manage to do wonderful things with the people you love while you may. Too many people don't take the time to do that, you're smart enough to know it's important.


Becca Gae said...

You do not know me, but I remember you from SHS.
However, I would like to say I am sorry for your pain and discomfort. I am a survivor of cancer, not one type but 5 types/4 bouts (leukemia, uterine, ovarian and skin), but I understand what you are going through. I to at times wanted to give up. I do not blame you or think negative of you on how you are feeling, and doing. I respect your wishes.
Cancer is a very painful illness. I wish you well, in what little time you have left.. take care.