On the verge...

[edit] This was posted on Wednesday night. It's now Thursday morning and things are looking brighter. Not financially. Not, in fact, in any way other than I've got a little more focus and a little more prayer under my belt. Just thought I'd let you know. Thanks for reading. [/edit]

Today was supposed to be about feeling more free after the bankruptcy court yesterday. But, for me, it seemed to be more about my failure. We're still broke. I'm still dying. I still can't provide for my family. And as I continue to be sick, the bills continue to come.

I'm having a day where I've failed to choose joy in my circumstance. It happens. It's happened before and it will happen again. When we're in pain, physical or mental, it's harder to make the right decisions. Tomorrow... tomorrow I'll be more focused. I will not only choose that joy that resides in my life but be sure to share it with my amazing wife.

But today I failed.

This song, sometimes, fills my head in these moments. It brings help. Rich Mullins wrote it after hearing about a young man's attempted suicide." It's a song of hope. Extreme hope, if you will.

"Clung to a ball
That was hung in the sky
Hurled into orbit
There You are
Whether you fall down
Or whether you fly
Seems you can never get too far
Someone's waiting to put wings
Upon your flightless heart

You're on the verge of a miracle
Standing there
Oh you're on the verge of a miracle
Just waiting to be believed in
Open your eyes and see
You're on the verge of a miracle

Here in your room
Where nobody can see
Voices are loud
But seldom clear
But beneath the confusion
That's running so deep
There is a promise you must hear
The love that seems so far away
Is standing very near

You're on the verge of a miracle
Standing there
Oh you're on the verge of a miracle
Just waiting to be believed in
Open your eyes and see

When you've played out
Your last chance
And your directions
Have all been lost
When the roads that you look down
Are all dead ends
Look up
You could see if you'd just look up

You're on the verge of a miracle
Standing there
Oh you're on the verge of a miracle
Just waiting to be believed in
Open your eyes and see
You're on the verge of a miracle"

On The Verge Of A Miracle

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