Sunday, May 22, 2011

My writing keeps getting worse... and worse...

There is so much I have to say but I just don't have the words to say it yet. So, here's the words I don't have to say in exactly the manner I don't have to say them.

My parents moved away this week. I am excited for them.  I have a passion for their new adventure. They have earned this new path. My Mother and Father have worked their entire life  trying to do and fulfill God's will. Of course, God's will, as Christians, is not so much our goal as it is the process of reaching His goal. But getting to see them finally achieve some kind of earthly reward here on this planet, where rewards are so rare, is one of the blessings and rewards of my life. It's a reward and passion they've never sought, but one I've so long prayed for God to provide to them.
Their week was rattled with last minute packing and, folding, shuffling, cleaning (don't tell my mother), and worry. I kept picturing my parent's in the Alfred E. Newman "What, Me Worry?" t-shirts. Because, Amidst all that seemed to be going wrong, there were so many things coming together perfectly that only God could be making it all happen.

On Tuesday we found the results of the Papa's Pizza Fundraiser, and they were not, financially, what one would call good. It was, however, a wonderful experience to, once again, see so many faithful and friendly faces show up and support us. While, again, the financial goals kind of fell by the way-side, the goal of seeing friends we rarely see any more and faces we've missed so much in the last year was definitely achieved.

Unfortunate for the event was the damage to my back. Nearing the end of the day, my liver and back began to hurt, which seemed like nothing new. By the following morning my liver was hardly noticeable in comparison to the pain in my lower back.  At this point we've upped both my slow-working and "fast"working pain killers by quite a bit... based on my hospice nurses orders. (My orders would have been something involving a oxy-contin-tipped bullet.)

So today I'll be missing church. I hate missing church. It's, by no means, is the only way for me find joy... But it does add community, fellowship and frienship to the joy so it's a nice blend. Like all the best soil in your garden.

Look, I gotta be honest. My writing isn't getting better. I require more and more rewrites lately, and even that doesn't fix all the mistakes. It was hard on Tuesday to get a check for much less than half the amount we've been able to raise in the past. I still know that God has a path. I know that He has a plan. Today I'm in a lot of pain and am just trying to hold on as we continue to look for a roommate to try and supplement our bills:
Life is good. Right now our best bets are either for God to take me home so Kristin can supplement our bills with her income or get a roommate to supplement mine. But something has to happen soon. I'm kinda tired of ending every conversation with tears. I'm even more tired of watching my wife's tears. It would be different if we we were having a good time. But, in spite of our tremendous love for each other... it's just not fun anymore.


Lisa Plumb said...

Nothing to say, Aaron, except I'm praying and trusting God with you.

Anonymous said...

Hi Aaron,

I've been reading your blog since I heard you talking to Bill Lundin on the radio a couple weeks ago. I just want you to know you are an inspiration to all of us who read your blog, and a great advocate for God and his plan too. Just the statement "choose joy" makes all the difference if you put it into practice. :) Thank you for sharing so much of yourself and your life. Take care!