The rain this morning was truly penetrating. I wasn't out in it. My platelets are still much too low to go out frolicking in an Oregon down-pour. But as I listened, I felt each drop. Memories came flooding back. Images... Emotions from a long time ago.
Once upon a time I worked at a little restaurant on the grave-yard shift. I would walk home, it seemed like every day, in the rain. When I got home to my little corner of the "quad" I shared I would open the window. I'd lay on the mattress in the corner or center, depending on the week, of my "living space" and listen. All the nights stresses, misunderstandings, angry drunks and grumpy employees would wash away.
My life was horrible then. There were good points. But, for the most part, I was lost. Lost in the life I was living. I had no roads out, no light in the tunnel. The tunnel, in fact, had a cave-in.
Today I am closer both in spirit and quite literally on life's timeline to God than I have been since I was six years old. I have a family. We have a roof over our head and a place for our puppy to run. I have friends who were with me then. Who I spent the majority of my waking hours with. Some have grown. Some have drifted in to a confusion of what they're faith once was. One is drinking to deal with the problems that overwhelm them. Two have chosen to stop believing in their Creator altogether. Most... most I have lost track of either by accident, by intent or as a result of laziness.
I guess, all things (including the cancer) considered, I'm doing really well now. But, still, there's something about the rain.
After being approved for a whopping sixteen dollars in food-stamps some of you have been very generous to give us dry goods. We have really appreciated the gentle gifts. But, if anyone is planning on purchasing food related items for us, please consider a Winco, Costco or Walmart gift card so we can get some milk, cheese and meat. Thank you in advance. Again, we really do appreciate the help. Things are tighter Belle's mouth when we're trying to get her flea medication inside her.
Also, I've created a new profile photo for my facebook that I love so I thought I'd share it! Fun right?