Thursday, August 05, 2010

The Laptop Is My Night-Light

This weekend (Friday and Saturday) is the Eugene/Springfield Relay for Life, held at Thurston High School in Springfield. Last year, my first, was difficult for me. I didn't really want to go... I think. They (American Cancer Society) refer to those of us with cancer as "survivors". It's not a moniker I really feel is appropriate for me. I'm living with cancer. I'm dying of cancer. I'm riddled with cancer. I'm pretty comfortable with most of those expressions. But, somehow, "survivor" doesn't fit. I haven't survived anything yet. I still have the cancer. I'm still going to die of it.

There are those who have literally beaten cancer. They had cancer and through therapy, prayer, chemo, radiation, diet or simple luck the cancer is gone and has not come back. Those people are survivors.

When I die I'll leave behind loving parents, an amazing wife and my little girl, Belle, who won't understand any of this. She'll just know that Daddy left one day and never came back. For me, they are the survivors. They are the survivors of cancer. The one's who've lived through the horrors of watching your loved one slowly ebb away.

So Friday and Saturday I'll walk. I have to assume this will be my last Relay. Of, course, I've out-lived my welcome so far. So who knows? But the weekend will be bitter-sweet. Lately I long for a day, an hour or even a moment when I don't think about my death. The fact is, that's not going to happen. So I guess I need to focus on the positives. Where I'm going. What it will be like to share a physical space with God? But it's hard. All I really do is see my family's faces. It's a feeling of failure that, lately, I can't squelch with joy.

Anyhow, here's the info on Relay for Life this weekend followed by the fulfilment (if anyone shows up) of one of my bucket-list items, a ComedySportz reunion, next Saturday night:

Friday at Noon is the start of Relay for Life. I'm still far from my goal and would love for you to donate, join our team or just show up for support. You can see my Relay for Life page at:

On Saturday, August 14th at 6pm the former members of ComedySportz Eugene will reunite for the first and last time in order to check another item off my "bucket list". ComedySportz is a family-friendly, interactive, comedy experience like nothing else you've seen. Unless you've seen a ComedySportz show. This show is being put on with the help and cooperation of ComedySportz Portland, the LCC Student Productions Association and, of course, the Aaron M. Jamison Pre-Memorial Foundation. Please come down and bring your friends, family... heck, bring your enemies! It's going to be a slice of one of the happiest segments of my life and will probably be my last performance. You can find the event here:
Tickets are available for pre-purchase via the link in the upper right-hand corner.

(The cost is $7 in advance via this site or $10 at the door the night of the show. There is a discount, $5, for kids 12 and under and Seniors 55 and older but that discount is only available at the door.)

Our poor little girl Belle trying to find a spot to potty in the back-yard.
It's a little after 2:30 in the morning and I plan to be up at around 6:00 am to use an electric weed eater, cheerfully loaned to us by Jeff Langerud and his wife Shannon, in order to get our back yard down to a mowing level. Yesterday we took our little electric lawn-mower back there and it yipped then left skid marks as it ran away. Took us three hours to find the little gal. She was snuggling up to an old clothes dryer someone had left at the curb for pick-up by one charity or another. I'm now realizing I left the electric mower in the garage with the electric weed eater in the garage all night. Could have a little set of electric edgers or portable blenders in a few weeks... depending on the gestation period.

Old world Monkeys are characterized by nostrils that are close to each other and point downward.

I have full colored posters and hand-bills for the comedy show that I would love to get to you. If you have or work in a business that would allow me to put one up, or you to put one up if I got you one... or would allow a small stack of hand-bills on a counter... or would like me to come do a personal presentation to sell the show... whatever... Please let me know! (If you'd like to just print out your own poster you can get a, slightly askew, version here: Black & White or Full Color) Thank you so much for your continued support. This will probably be my last improv show as my mind is a little more fleeting, due to chemo, every day. Don't miss this show. I used to be really good. ;)

While I'm vaguely on the subject, I've been doing more and more speaking at churches lately and am happily available, as my schedule permits, to come talk to your church about choosing joy in the face of tragedy. Feel free to give my information to your pastor, leadership or the person in charge of your nursery. (Two year-olds love me.) My email address is and my phone number is... available if you email and ask for it. If you're my "friend" on Facebook, then all my info is available under, strangely enough, the info tab. You can also join the Aaron M. Jamison Pre-Memorial Foundation on Facebook so you can be the first to know when I kick the bucket... hopefully stubbing my toe and remaining alive and semi-healthy.

New blog on Monday, where I'll talk about saying "I'm sorry," too much, and why you should just put up with it.

1 comment:

Bill said...

I read, I read everyday post Aaron and although I am not dying with cancer I don't feel I am surviving either I feel as though I am just getting by. I am glad to have your words too look as you really are dying and at the same surviving because cancer hasn't beaten you yet. I'm inspired by your words although I see the frustration and the pain. I wish you well on your journey and those of us you leave behind won't forget you. I don't even know you and I won't. And for that I am sorry.

--Barely Surviving Life.