Sunday, July 25, 2010

Side-effects may vary...

On Thursday we (and by "we" I am referring to my wife, my oncologist and myself) added actual "chemo" back into my chemo. Does that make sense? I was on an "anti-cancer" drug called Vectibix and have now added a previous chemo drug, Oxaliplatin to my lovely little cocktail. Today I am surfing the side-effect waves as they rush over and over again slamming my body into the pylons of Pier 39.

Chemotherapy has more side-effects than you can really get a grasp on. As each new drug is added or subtracted to the mix the side-effects take you further and further down the rabbit hole. Today, minus the pain factor, has been one of the weirdest days I've had on this journey so far. Just an emotional train-wreck with Britney Spears level paparazzi pretending to take pictures while actually using a View Master. (The following link will take you, depending on your work-place's fire-wall setting, to a list of my current possible drug interactions. Keep in mind, this doesn't include the actual side-effects, just the new side-effects created by the combination of drugs: http://freepdfhosting.com/758de66493.pdf )

More importantly right now is what's coming up on this Wednesday, July 28th! A day of prayer. I am asking that everyone who is able; Christians, Muslims, Hindus, Wiccans (or other Neopagan religions) , Atheists, Agnostics... any one who has any concept of God, whether they believe in that concept or not, to pray for healing from my cancer. I'm not sure it'll work. In fact, my guess is that it won't. It's not that I don't believe God has the power to heal me. The fact is that I just don't believe that it's a part of His plan and I believe His plan is much more important than me or my plan. Part of this, I think, is just hoping that there are people out there who are willing to question, or put into practice, their belief system to say a few words for me.

Lately the light feels a little dimmer each day at the end of that stupid tunnel. You'd think I'd learn to stay out of that tunnel by now. Nope. Not me. Just keep staring into oblivion. But as that light seems dimmer, I look for new ways to brighten the space I'm in. This week, you're all it. I'm relying on you to pray, and I'm talking about prayer to the God I worship, not yours. Just this once. To pray for His will in my life or my healing or heck... ask Him to take me "home" for all I care. Call it an experience. Call it the last practical joke of a missionary gone too far astray for the cause. Just do me a favor and talk to God, on my behalf, at least once this Wednesday. Let me know how it feels. Whether it feels stupid, and it will for some, or pious or gravitas... or whether it feels good or bad. Let me know. I'm curious.

A couple people asked for some more examples. Which is fine and understandable. Here'd be my shot, "Hey God. Aaron really likes you and he's not a complete jerk. If you could get rid of his cancer and leave him around a while longer I'd really appreciate it. But I'm sure he'd prefer that whatever you want for him is what happens. Thanks for listening." For those with shorter attention spans (How do you read this thing with a short attention span?), "God. Heal Aaron. Thanks." It all works fairly well.

Thank you so much. Some of you, I know, will be keeping Kristin, my parents and I in your thoughts and prayers all day long, some already do and some only have a moment. I'll take whatever you're willing or have time to share. Thank you for your support.

Don't forget that Relay for Life is coming up fast! Donate to help find a cure for cancer! Please click on the Relay for Life button to see my page, my goals and how far away from achieving them I really am.



9 comments:

Banana Queen said...

My prayer is gonna be totally badass. It's gonna contain all manner of badassery. Whoops, I think that's a cuss word and that's probably inappropriate. Hey, life and death are very serious topics and sometimes I randomly cuss in order to feel.....I dunno.....lighter.

I'm gonna say,

Yo, God of the Hebrew bible......dude who did all that stuff to those people a long time ago and then wrote things on some tablets that make life awesome today.....who hears me talk in my sleep and sing in the shower, who holds my shoulders when I cry, who carries me through the dark times- God of Abraham....hear my prayers today, be they screams into oblivion or winged dreams that flutter up to heaven......hear me, Oh God of the ancients, and heal this man from his sickness. Heal his body and prepare his soul, and if you can't heal his body then simply prepare his soul and take away his fears......so he may easily move from this world to the next.

ADHD version: Yo, God, who is awesome beyond awesomeness, help Aaron in his time of great need.

Something like that. You know, badassery.

Ivy said...

Working up some rockin' prayer in the Unscripted house too!

Keep kicking!

Teeter said...

You have my prayers along with 25 of my daughter's friend, who formed their own small congregation last year. Their motto is " Its not about religion, its about God and our relationship with him". Around 50-70 people attend every week. We read this together, and promise we will think of you and pray often for you.
Anyway, my hats off to you for keeping this blog, and for letting others know your journey. If more people did this, I think others would be aware, that although we have come so far when it comes to cancer, it still is a nasty word, and a tough battle. There are so many things that arise during treatment, that you feel lost, and wonder if anyone else had the same experience, for instance the caustic burns, and the placing of a port.
I would like to leave you with a little hope. My mother is 70 this year, and has just fought the battle and won for now..... We pray every day that God will keep that nasty stuff out of her body, and now yours as well.
Wishing you much luck, and hope for the future of you and your family!

Teeter said...

You have my prayers along with 25 of my daughter's friend, who formed their own small congregation last year. Their motto is " Its not about religion, its about God and our relationship with him". Around 50-70 people attend every week. We read this together, and promise we will think of you and pray often for you.
Anyway, my hats off to you for keeping this blog, and for letting others know your journey. If more people did this, I think others would be aware, that although we have come so far when it comes to cancer, it still is a nasty word, and a tough battle. There are so many things that arise during treatment, that you feel lost, and wonder if anyone else had the same experience, for instance the caustic burns, and the placing of a port.
I would like to leave you with a little hope. My mother is 70 this year, and has just fought the battle and won for now..... We pray every day that God will keep that nasty stuff out of her body, and now yours as well.
Wishing you much luck, and hope for the future of you and your family!

JC said...

Just wanted to let you know I prayed.

Ivy said...

Just said first prayer of the day for you, there will be more to come! I'm a worship leader in WV and we have practice today, so we'll praying for you while we worship the Lord as well!

Meagan Frank said...

Tears count as prayers, right? Laughing through them because you are so incredibly real about this has to count too. I pray for your heart...that it is prepared for all that is yet to come: healing, home, whatever. You have centered me with your request!

JD said...

I wanted to let you know I sent my prayer for you.

Dear Lord,
Please deliver a miracle for Aaron Jamison. In a world filled with hatred, racism, and pure evil, please save this kind and gentle person. I know deep down in my heart that he has much he can still accomplish here. Please Lord, grant Arron a miracle so he can continue his work here, and so others can witness this miracle and be drawn closer to you as well.

In Jesus's name I pray

Amen

Joanna said...

I prayed for you, to your God, asking for healing in all ways. It felt...connected. We all are, anyway.