We had a friend, Liana, over and watched Rent tonight. It took on new meaning for Kristin. Now she watches it and thinks about me dying.
I don't even know how to explain the difficulty of watching your wife cry because she knows you're going to die soon. She knows your going to say goodbye and that will be it. Forever. All I can say to her is, "I wish I could fix it." I do. I wish I could get rid of the hurt.
But pain is our greatest teacher. Whatever the purpose of all this, pain is part of it. There's something here I have yet to learn. Something Kristin's learning that will serve her well later in life as she lives on and becomes more of who she's meant to be. There's something in this for all of us to learn.
And the fact is, if you don't learn anything from this... you just were not paying attention.