Friday, May 29, 2009

Life Changes and Stuff


My life changed a little more today. We finished the clean-up at the old place. It was a hard day for me. I had the chemo pump taken off. Same as I do every other Friday. Then went, completely drained, and loaded a trailer for the dump from the old place. We couldn't have gotten it all done this week without the help of our parents.

My life changed a little more today. The house on E Street is where Kristin and I began our married life together. We had our first pets there; some fish, followed by another fish, followed by an angry-horny little dog, followed by Belle... our daughter. It was our home.

My life changed a little more today. The new house, the house on 67th, became the house I will probably end my married life with Kristin. It's where we'll say goodbye. It's where the end of the spectrum, that I didn't expect for twenty or forty more years, will be. This little home holds so much potential.

Tonight Kristin got a little plastic pool for Belle and filled it in the backyard. I didn't get to see her play in it. I will eventually. But there are so many things I'm not going to see. I wish I could've watched Belle tonight.

My Dad and I talked about my childhood today. We talked about "Fun Day". My Dad had to travel a lot and would always set aside one day, usually Saturday, as Fun Day. We would play. Play catch. Bumper boats. Miniature golf. Sometimes just something in the backyard. These are all great memories. Amazing memories. But somewhere in the conversation I realized, again, that I will never have those moments with my own child.

Every moment is so precious now. Not that they weren't precious before. It's just I realize, second by second, how precious they are.

Today, for me, we left our home. I moved across the threshold to something new. Not necessarily bad. Just new. Anywhere I'm with Kristin is home.

My life changed a little more today. It will keep changing. All our lives do. It's just now I have my eyes open wide and can see all the change. All the constant change. God's plan is so grand. His love for us is so all encompassing. His change is always a change for what's better.

Oh... and for those who've asked. Here's the verse from the bottom of my new tatt:

"I'm thanking you God, from a full heart, I'm writing the book on your wonders.
I'm whistling, laughing and jumping for joy.
I'm singing your song, High God."
Psalm 9:1 (The Message)

Also, you should check out Retromantic at Lord Leebrick tonight and tomorrow (I'll be there tomorrow) at 11pm.
It's just five dollars.

3 comments:

BigDaddyChris said...

One thing my mom did for me before she died, was write a book. Well, she started a book. I found in her belongings this book full of blank pages and hand written words that she wrote way back in 1993 when she had cancer the first time.

she only wrote about 5 or 6 pages. I guess what happened was she was going to write this whole book for me about her life, and only got 6 pages done before her surgery. She didnt think she was going to survive the surgery, or recover I guess. Well,as it turns out, after her surgery she was fit as a fiddle and forgot all about the book.

I wish she would have kept writing, cause all I have is 6 pages about her being pregnant with me.

I will probably write a book about my life and times, just cause I want someone to read it when I am gone, and feel like I am talking to them.

What I am saying is,you should write a book, for your wife. For your parents too.

I wish I had shared my story of the bird bath jesus with my mom before she died. but im sure she knows all about it now.

I will share it in my book though.

talk to ya soon!
chris

Kristin Hawke said...

This is just the start to new adventures. Not the end of them. I look forward to making new memories in our new home. I love you.

jerry said...

Aaron you are what you say and have what you say.Life and death is in the power of the tongue.I know its hard but you need to hold on to Gods word and quote the many healing scriptures in his word.I am praying for you as are probably many others.Don't give up your in his hands and his time.He has healed oters and hes no respector of persons and you are on his mind.This is Jerry your brother-in-law game friend iyt