Yesterday, in fact the weekend as a whole, didn't go as I'd hoped. I was hoping that with all the recent self-doubt I'd been experiencing I would see or hear something that would have some kind of miraculous effect on me. But there was no burst of light, nor voice from the heavens, nor even the magical grocery bag being blown by the breeze as if it were dancing.
What did happen?
I spent some quality bonding time with an amazing woman who has the patience of an angel and eyes full of joy. She treated me better than I deserved and held close to me through a deluge of doubt.
On Sunday morning we attended church at Grace and found that they've got a lot of thing coming up geared towards new attenders. I was humbled by a brief conversation with a good friend that went something like this,
"He is risen."
"Yes He is."
"Your response is supposed to be 'He is risen indeed'."
"I've never been much for the whole 'call and response' kind of thing."
"Well you should be. For over 2000 years it's been a way for the church to stand united and bond together." (Or something to that effect.)
I guess that sometimes I'm so concerned with what I feel is right for me that I forget to acknowledge things that are important to others. It was a conversation that needed to be had.
Later Kristin and I realized that, due to my recent lack of employment, we would not be able to cover our current bills. After many tears (on her part, not mine) it was agreed hat I would sell my guitar to cover the remainder. We went to my parents house to celebrate the resurrection together with them over dinner. On hearing of our financial circumstance they insisted on providing the money, which they themselves do not have, to help us cover our bills.
So, there was no bright light. There was no thundering voice from the heavens. But I did experience unconditional love from a beautiful woman who, next to salvation, is God's greatest gift to me on this Earth. I did learn a lesson and was humbled in a way that I think I needed to be humbled. Finally, God, through my parents, provided for needs that I was not able to meet for my family.
Looking back, which I always am, it was definitely a series of miraculous events. Along with the reminder that Jesus suffered and painful death that I deserved and came back to life so that I could life in Grace and learn to be free.