It's amazing how much we don't need... Amazing.

     Once again I've had a few (more than several really) people ask me, "How can I help?" I cannot express enough how appreciative I am to all those who want to help... let alone those who actually have helped. I've been incredibly hesitant to be too specific because I don't want anyone to feel like I'm demanding things. There's also the weird fact that I expect to be dead any day now. That makes it a little weird to say, "I need this," or, "that," when I don't know if I'll even get to see items, let alone use them.

     Clothing: Because we kept expecting me to pass away any day coming up, I've refused (over and over again) to buy clothing items that I've actually needed... aside from the really cool super-hero shirt on sale for 80% off. (I'm just going to include some links here to give you and idea. Don't be shocked at how expensive clothes can be for fat... er... um... gastrically challenged gentlemen.

• Underwear: I've let my underwear go to the point that some would assume I was a single man. Here are links to two different stores and they type of underwear I usually wear. I tend to wear "boxer-briefs" as they're the most comfortable for me. (Examples from KingSizeDirect.com and CasualMale.com. I wear a size 5x, as embarrassing as that is to admit.)
• Socks: We work very hard to continuously "recycle" my socks and keep things "fresh". But there's only so much we can do. (Examples from KingSizeDirect.com where I wear white, 2x and from CasualMale.com where I, again, wear white.)
• Shorts: I tend to wear shorts because, at my weight, I tend to stay very, very, warm. Now my hospice provider has put me on a continuous pump of a drug called Dilaudid (The link there goes to an oral or rectal version of the drug. For some reason it's important to me that you know I'm not taking the "rectal". I'm actually receiving the drug by infusion into a port that goes directly into my heart.) in order to deal with my pain. When I go out I need to be able to wear a belt so I can carry the heavy pump on my waist. Currently I only have two pairs of denim shorts with belt loops. (Examples from KingSizeDirect.com where I wear a 66 "big" and CasualMale.com where I, also, wear at 66 "big".)

     Those are clothing items I actually need right now that I've waited a little too long to keep up with.

Everything else that I "need"... I can live without. Does that make sense? It's just a matter of, again, trying not to fulfill "orders" that I'll never be able to use. I guess it feels harder to explain than it is.

     We can always use your prayers. Kristin and I purchased tickets, months ago, for a Josh Groban concert in Portland, Oregon this Friday. I'm no longer able to attend but she'll be able to go with our friend Stephanie Jackson and I'm sure they'll have a great time. But I'd appreciate your prayers for their safety and that God will fill them with joy for this trip, as He has recently with our life in general.

     Of all the herbal/natural/homeo cancer therapies I've been... er... confronted? by - I've finally found one I'm willing to try. Preliminary, and I'm sure not very thorough, research shows that these drops have the potential to actually shrink the tumors currently in my system. It's not covered by insurance and is also not cheap. But I just feel it's important for me to try. I don't know why. So your prayers that God will show us a way to cover the cost are very important to me.
     Also, also, wik: Also, don't forget to celebrate with me, today's two year anniversary of the day the oncologists guestimated I would die. These days it feels more like, "C'mon Jamison! Die or get off the urn." I guess you could pray, along with us, about that too. That God will lead us or show us His decision.

Tattooed expiration date on the back of my neck "BEST ON OR BEFORE 08/24.2009"
by Yakuza Greg at Cry Baby Ink in Valley River Center