I try to post something new every Sunday night or Monday morning. This week I'm finding it hard to put my thoughts together. My anxiety has been up. I've been a little overwhelmed by, yet very appreciative of, all the recent media attention.
The question I get a lot is, “What's your goal?” People want to know what I want to happen as a result of all this. What do I want people to remember? What do I want them to learn?
That's all kind of humbling really. I've learned lessons from the most unexpected places, so I don't find it impossible that someone would get something out of my blog or my life. But I don't really feel worthy of being a “teacher”... if you get the beat that I'm laying down. Do you?
So here we go. Here's what I'd like someone to learn, or “get”, from all this. If my life, and death, teach anyone anything these are my “secret” hopes:
- Jesus/God loves you. No matter who you are or what you've done, He loves you.
- You have the ability to choose how you react to life. Choosing joy isn't easy. But it is possible.
- My wife is the most amazing woman on Earth. Her love for me is the model every spouse should strive to achieve. It has taught me more about God's unconditional love for me than 37 years of studying.
- Pure-bread dogs just contribute to the problem of dog over-population. If you want a dog, adopt a homeless one. Why is it we make fun of inbreeding in humans but encourage it in animals?
- It's OK to laugh when we're uncomfortable. It's natural.
- The Bible says in James 4:17 that if someone knows the right thing to do, and doesn't do it, that is a sin. My translation is that we should spend more time doing the things we know we should do... and we do know what we should do most of the time.
- No one will believe God loves them if they can't believe you do.
- No one can hear anything you say on an empty stomach. Specifically if they haven't eaten in days.
- No one will believe they can find comfort if they have no place to sleep.
I guess the most important thing that worries me is this: If I've done anything in my life, and I'm sure I have, to make you reject God... I'm sorry. Please judge God, Jesus, Christ, whatever name you'd like to choose on His own words, His own actions, His own history and not mine. (Also, if there term “His” for God bothers you, please remember it's just a pronoun. God has no gender. And, again, I apologize.)
Don't let anything in this world keep you from joy.
Now back to my normal babbling...
We're going to California later this month. We managed to get tickets to see Ellen. (Not ON the show, but it's the next best thing.) We have a place to stay and free tickets to Disneyland and California Adventure. But we still have to pay travel, food and bills. (Kristin doesn't have any vacation time because she's used it all with me in the hospital.) So any donation is really appreciated. This, barring a miracle, will be our last big trip together.